TURNING FAILURE INTO SUCCESS

Rev. Clyde Dunning
Dec 12, 2021
14 min read

Updated: Dec 20, 2021

After dropping out of high school and then returning after two years, was the best decision I've ever made in my life. Quitting school at the time seemed like the right thing to do, but eventually, it lead me down a road of crime, drugs, countless hours of idol time, and hanging out with a crowd who were pretty much doing the same thing. Nothing! Needless to say that, because of the choices that I had made, my life had quickly reached a dead-end at such an early age. It is a known fact that many youth who drop out, usually do not return to school to complete their education and go on to careers. This is why I am grateful for a second chance, with a determined and made-up mind. It was almost as though I'd heard a voice from the future that came to warn me to change my direction for what was to come today; a voice warning to prepare myself today for what is about to come tomorrow.

The world is in a constant state of change

We can all agree that to the reality that time is quickly moving alongside a quickly emerging world that is constantly changing. I could've never, in my wildest imagination, thought I would see what the world has become today. Life has changed for so many, all across the world; technologically, economically, socially, morally, and politically. You name it, our world is constantly evolving. Some good. Some bad. It is almost mind-boggling to think where the world will end up in 40 years from now, based on the momentum by which the world is moving today. I'm sure tomorrow, 40 years from now, will be nothing like it is today. Prepare! The things we sometimes take for granted today could be the source of your eminent survival tomorrow.

Growing up in Elizabeth's school system, I was a pretty good student, and I got decent grades. I spent most of my recreational time playing sports outdoors with the fellas, and for various community teams. Aside from the daily routine of school and classes, I would look forward to my recreational outlet to save the day. It was obvious that I had a football talent and it was something that I enjoyed doing the most. But, as painful as it was to admit; it only took a moment for my life to fall off of the right track, and end up in situations that I never would have anticipated for my life; Namely due to my decision to quit school. I had many times said to myself, that if I had not fallen off the track, I would've been inducted into the NFL hall of fame by now.

My Decision To Quit

Until the day we are no longer breathing, we all are going to be in search of who we are, and to find what our place is in the world. Seeking our own identity is always going to be one of life's greatest challenges For many, it has become somewhat of a crisis. People seek to fit in. We want to be liked, accepted, and appreciated by others. Being influenced by others around us is a common clause and is pretty much inevitable. WARNING!! Trying to fit in can end up costly, especially if it causes distractions in your life and causes one to go astray. My mistake was, that I was a square trying to fit into a circle that did not fit; Blinded by fact that I had become distracted. The distraction factor will get you every time.

Distractions never come in the form of a distraction. They are subtle, and if you are not careful and vigilant, and mindful of the decisions you make, it is easy to find yourself quickly drifting away from shore and some never returning. My sophomore year started out great, but it did not end that way. Yes, this was the year of my undetected and most costly distraction.

Trying to fit in! And of course, at this age, we are feeling a little need for some independence. Like most young people, I looked forward to hanging out with my buddies on the weekends and doing what boys do, all in the name of just having a good time. We would go from club to club looking for the right party to crash. We wanted to party and mingle with the girls. We would go out, smoke, drink, dance and hang out all night, rap to girls, get phone numbers, to seek new sex connections; and if you were lucky, someone went home with the girl, or we'd all end up at White Castle at the wee hours of the morning talking about our wild night. But in all of my party, not even realizing that I'd been distracted. What I thought was simply having a good time, and doing what everyone else longed to do; It was merely a distraction that only caused me to make a mistake, that snowballed and almost caused my life to change forever and take on a whole new direction. This was the year that my girlfriend had announced to me that she was pregnant and that she was having my baby.

First, a little surprised then came over me the feeling of, 'Hey, I must be somebody!' I was becoming a father now at the at of 15. Although I was just a little too young to be a responsible father at that age. Nevertheless, my son, still today remains to be my greatest joy. I truly value the close that we have even until today. Nevertheless, throughout her pregnancy, I remember she and I had many discussions regarding our fears of becoming such young parents, and of course, "how we would take care of the baby?" We'd both would look at each other and say "Welfare!!". But I didn't want my son's well-being dependant upon the welfare system.

Becoming a new father at the age of 15, drifting further now, and not serious about school at the time anyway; I made the bold conscious decision to quit school and to support my son. Without any objections from my parents, I was comfortable with my decision to quit school, get a job to support my son. Although I was only a young boy, a child myself, I thought it was the man's thing to do. Nevertheless, It was that very decision that caused my life to almost end up in places of no return that I would've regretted for the rest of my life.

After quitting school I had started working a full-time shift at a local Nathans. My job was to make sure that the store, the bathrooms, and the parking lot were clean in the absence of the time spent flipping hotdogs. I remember coming home many nights with big and painful blisters on my hands from the hot grease popping from the grill, as I flipped dogs all day.

I will never forget my supervisor who was an older Latino man who could nearly speak English. I remember he would always order me around with this very rude tone in his voice, and he would always try to throw his weight around to try and intimidate me, only because he had the title 'supervisor'. Needless to say, I oftentimes felt that something was wrong with this picture; that somehow the roles had been reversed. When it came down to intelligence, and knowing the language, I felt that I should've been his Boss. But, unfortunately, because I decided to quit high school, I had only myself to blame for bringing about this unrelenting stalemate of uncertainty upon my life. I knew that there was more to me than cleaning bathrooms. Moreover, I was disappointed in myself for not being more careful in the decision I'd made to quit school.

Now tired of working with this supervisor, pretty much for the way he spoke to me; it was not long before I would quit my minimum wage job at Nathans, where it was only earning only $2.30 an hour.

It was not long before I was broke, and I would hear that voice repeatedly saying that my son needed pampers and milk. I believe that the first parent's impulse is to worry; especially when it seems uncertain of how one would take care of even his or her child. Yes, we had not come up with a plan yet, and the one we had, had already fallen apart.

Now broke and desperate, with much idle hanging time on my hands, made me quickly realize that other people that I knew who were hanging out on the streets and were making more money in the streets than I could ever imagine making at a fast-food hotdog restaurant. We would simply hang out doing nothing but to try to find a hussle. Instead of any kind of plan for the day, we found ourselves waking up in the morning, only to aimlessly improvise the day away,

It all made sense. No money, No job, No education with much idle time on my hands, left me with absolutely no other emotions except to feel sad, miserable, and depressed. I felt that life as I knew it was finished. It was those feelings combined that led me to engage with others in acts of crime. It became an extreme case of "association brings about assimilation." It was not long before I began, selling and using drugs, loitering, snatching pocketbooks, breaking enterings, stealing cars. You name it! Anything, to keep money in my pocket, and food in my child's belly. My decision to quit school had only taken on a domino effect which influenced my second greatest mistake; and that mistake of then getting into trouble with the law.

Now at the age of 16, again broke, and disgusted. One day a friend and I desperately, wanting to go to a local Earth Wind and Fire concert, but had no cash, and trying to figure out how we were going to get the money to go. Like Beavis and Butthead, We agreed to go into a jewelry store with a pint-sized Clorox bottle in a concealed brown paper bag, announcing to the store clerk that it was a gun and that we wanted all of the money from the register.

My friend frantically hopped over the counter to open the cash register. He could not open it, so he stupidly cried out my name, "Clyde, How do you open the cash register?" Our plan was not going as planned.

We quickly exited the store, running up Elizabeth Ave, as fast as our legs could take us. Because he blurted my name, the police practically beat me to my house. Now hiding out in my attic, I was quickly alerted by my brother, that the police were looking for me. Peeking outside of the attic window, saw must've been 15 police cars lined up in front of my parents' house.

After my mother heard of the fiasco, becoming enraged, and (with the stick in her hand) angrily convinced me that it was better to go and turn myself in. Painfully agreeing, (with the welps on my backside), we did go down to the detective's office to discuss what happened and be charged with the crime of petty armed robbery. This time, I knew, I had truly messed up for sure. I felt myself wishing that all of this was just a dream and that I would wake up any moment. The only good thing was, that after I was charged and questioned; Since I was a minor, my mother was able to sign me out, and I was able to go back home with her. Nevertheless, it was only a few short months that passes that I still had to pay the piper as my court date was quickly approaching.

As this day nervously approaches for my court appearance, I was doing some serious bargaining with God to help me out of this situation that I had caused.

When we had finally gone to court, I'd already made up my mind to change, and was working, and doing well to support my son and was staying out of trouble, and quickly realized that I'd gotten off on the wrong track and that I this failing lifestyle.

Nevertheless, the judge, although I had turned over a new leaf, and was working now and doing the right thing to better of both my son and me. Ironically, he did end up sentencing me to a group home where it was up to me how soon I would be released.

My sentence could've stemmed from 6 months to 3 years, depending on the progress that I was expected to acquire through the various programs and training that was offered. Because of my deep determination and mindset for change, and accepting my penalty for the crime that I committed, I was able to complete the program in 6 months. After I'd returned home, it was obvious the change that I'd made. My change was easy after abandoning the circles and the distractions that wanted to hang onto the same lifestyle of playing Russian Roulette with thier lives, and who had not yet realized the virtues of life.

If there is anyone who has considered dropping out of school and has asked yourself the question, "What's the use?". Let me tell you; that voice is only a distraction. Don't make the same mistake that many have made, including my decision to quit school, to give up! I was truly blessed to have returned, but many quit and never return, and you would ask, lived to regret it. Never give up!

I am You! Coming back from the future to talk to you!

The mystery behind being inspired by a voice from the future is t we have the magic to alter the future based on the decisions and choices that we make today.

Deciding To Return To School

A SECOND CHANCE

When I came home, my determination for change was apparent, and I will never forget the day announcing to my mother that I wanted to go back to school. She is equally excited about my choice, would bring me down to the principal the next day to plead on my behalf to let me back in school. After about an hour of friendly discussion, he did agree to readmit me to school

Wow, even though he was letting me back, but he added that he cannot put me in the 12th grade where I belonged, but he had to put me in the grade that I dropped out which was the 10th grade. Wow, who wants to be two grades behind? But he goes on to say that he has a plan to double up on classes and that if I did well, instead of going to the 11th grade, he would then skip me to the 12th grade. " I did not care about being two grades behind. Knowing all I'd lost in my life, I was just happy that he was letting me back into school.

To me, it was a new lease on life! I was anxious to do well; while listening to those voice voices head from the past, saying, "Clyde, you can do anything, if you just try."

With focus and determination, I did exceptionally well and the principal did keep his promise, and I was skipped from the 10th grade to the 12th grade, which only left me one year behind my peers. I felt great about my decision to go back to school because now, I looked at education differently. I wanted to learn everything that my mind could contain. I could not imagine this newly found inspiration ending after my senior year. So I wanted to continue my studies, so I started talking to guidance counselors about giving me college preparatory classes.

THE WAIT IS OVER COLLEGE-BOUND

Here we are, after months of waiting for my acceptance to college. The moment of truth finally arrives. The wait is over and now the envelope I've been waiting for is finally in my hand. Of nervousness, I did not open that envelope for two days. If it were not for my mother making me let her open the letter, I'd probably missed the freshman orientation. But after nervously opening the letter and ready to blame my mother for ruining my day if I had not got accepted. So she was the one who opened it, and when she announced the news, I thought she was kidding, but then again, my mother doesn't kid about things like that.

Walla, I could not believe I was accepted into a major university. North Carolina Central University; the home of the eagles. Excited about the miracle, I would go tell anyone who would listen. Some of my friends were excited for me; we would go out and celebrate. I remember taking a scene out of the movie Cooley High, and turning up the bottle and saying that the waisted wine, was for the fellas that are not here. I could not believe it, Me? Accepted to a university? I guess all of my hard work had paid off. But little did I know, the hard work was just beginning.

I remember college being very different from high school. The studies were much more intense; and I remember the first month of classes, the feeling of wanting to quit and go back to New Jersey and just find a job since I now had a high school diploma. But I would often have to remind myself of the evidence of what God was doing in my life, and the lessons learned after returning to school; and that is, anything is possible once you put your mind to it.

DETERMINED TO FINISH

I realized quickly that if I was to be successful in college, that I had to come up with a plan. That plan was that, would often compel me for many long nights to stay up to burn the midnight oil studying Many days passed where many of my friends were out enjoying college social life, But for me, it was different, I had to study much longer hours in order to be competitive in college. Not coming from such a strong academic background, like the majority of the students that attended the university.

I believe it was much more challenging for me since I did not have a strong academic background prior to returning to school. But thank God, I remember having great teachers who shared my enthusiasm to learn and would take the extra time to help to adjust to the college's curriculum. I had to play catch up on some remedial studies. But I was determined, no matter what it took, to get good grades and to moreover, Finish.

I never thought that my hard work would bring me to this point in my life after having quit high school and the many life circumstances that followed. As a result of being determined to turn life around, and utilize my potential, l where I would continue my studies to earn a Bachelors degree.

Later, Still striving for knowledge and growth, then went on to accept my calling in the ministry. Then after many years of laboring in the other ministries, God has been doing great things through the Sower of Seeds Ministry where I am founder and Pastor of force that is gradually becoming stronger with God's speed; And God just keeps on unfolding chapters of my life and he constantly reminding me that He that is in control, and I found it only right to share some of this Glory and wisdom which could have only been accomplished through the power of God; Well, at least in my life. The wisdom of God was truly a major part of my antidote for change. Afterward, I continued with my studies to acquire a Master's degree and do some further work towards my Doctorates; and so many more enriched and rewarding experiences that would've never happened without the conversion that I'd made.

I know drastic change is difficult but it is possible, with a plan, and one day at a time. It is never too late to redirect and control your destiny, especially when you are just tired of being sick and tired and you find yourself sinking further into quicksand, and you've had enough of living such a short life of risks uncertainty and, mediocrity.

I'd realized that real change, instead of just talking, that I needed to refocus, and then stay focused, refocused, and focused again. No matter the sacrifice, I had to come up with a plan for my life and then stick with that plan, and then surround myself with people who inspired me to persevere. Plans do change. Just because you have turned your life around, does not mean that trouble will not find you. But always be adaptable to change and stay on top of your game. Stay focused on your plan. Always allow your setbacks to be your prime reason for a major comeback.

Failing To Prepare A Plan For The Future Now, Means Planning Now To Fail For the Future.

Focus!

They were right! It wasn't until I had a made up my mind, was only then until I was able to change my destiny.

In life, we all face distractions and influences, both positive and negative. Don't be influenced by the crowd, girlfriends, boyfriends, or even Family.

Be determined to learn from your mistakes.

Seek God first
Education second
Staying out of trouble are the greatest beggings to discovering the true you.

Having a made-up mind
Let your setbacks become your reason to make a major comeback
Dare to be different
Distant yourself from negative influences
Believe in your dream
Surround yourself with positive people that believe in you
Have Faith in God and your Self
Stay Focused
Think outside the box
Take a self-inventory
Work every day to improve yourself
Never give up
Make social time sacrifices (While friends are out hanging out, you are hanging in with your books and self-improvements)
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your dreams
Distant yourself from negative influences
Be confident in facing new challenges